Sometimes I feel that I should be grateful for the things I have and for those things I didn’t have, because I would have been miserable if I had them or worse, be dead. I should learn to thank God,yes the one with the big G, the universe and any other elements, unknown to me for a pretty damn good reason I’m sure, that are responsible for my being here. The only thing I could accuse ‘them’ of is being careless with my comfort, or lack there of, on this planet. I could have been born to the same parents, but richer. I could have lived in a stress-free, loving but not perfect family. That would make me more uncomfortable; perfection that is. I could have developed into someone who could fearlessly back up his radical thoughts with the needed action. Instead I’ve grown up to be a wuss of sorts. A pansy. A grown ass boy who can’t defend himself with speed in a heated argument but would rather settle it by his fists…
But then again, I think I should be grateful for having a marvelously inventive brain and a functioning body devoid of any terminal diseases, that I know of. May be, I might be six feet under with all these things I crave for, who knows.
Extract from my personal offline Diary/Journal